WHAT’S IT ABOUT
A long time ago in a distant fairy tale countryside, a young girl leads her little brother into a dark wood in desperate search of food and work, only to stumble upon a nexus of terrifying evil.
MOVIESinMO REVIEW
I didn’t think anything could be worse than The Turning, but here it is. Gretel & Hansel is a slow-moving, actionless movie. Nothing in this film was worth. . . filming. Which brings to question, why was this film made? This is one of those movies where you know for a fact somebody had to do something wildly sexual to get this piece of crap produced. Because even being related to those in charge could not have given a person enough “pull” to do a movie this bad. Other than being a cure for insomnia, Gretel & Hansel has no redeeming anything. The film starts with the story of a possessed baby girl that was taken to a witch to remove the evilness. As a little girl, the once filled-with-evil child still had some evil in her. The townspeople were scared of her. They caught her, locked her in a carriage, and released the ten-year-old (she might have been younger) in the woods. As exciting as that sounds, and should have been, it was hard staying awake during the descriptive scenes and very dull narrative. This is before we meet Gretel & Hansel and are introduced to their set of not-so-unique problems. They have mother issues, she puts them out, blah, blah, blah. It sounds like the baby girl at the beginning. They wander the forest looking for someone to take them in and food, of course. They spot what seems to be an abandoned house and enter it. The owner, an old lady, appears and offers them shelter and food. They stay there for what might have been months. Gretel finds out the old lady is a witch, and the witch decides to “train” her. Oh no, I’ve said too much. There’s still nothing worth seeing even at this point in the movie. . . and it’s almost over. As you can tell, I have nothing good to say about this sleep-fest. Movies like Gretel & Hansel is why films like The Color Purple or Meet Me In St. Louis can be re-released in theaters and make more than those films that were just released. Gretel & Hansel isn’t worth the digital space it occupies.
OUR RATING– NOT EVEN WORTHY OF 0
Media
- Genre – Drama
- Street date
- Digital – April 7th 2020
- DVD/Blu-Ray – May 5th 2020
- Video – 1080p
- Screen size – 1:66:1
- Sound – English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1, Spanish: Dolby Digital 5.1
- Subtitles – English SDH, Spanish
Extras
- “Storybook”