What’s It About
After being experimented on by a secret government entity called The Shop, Andy McGee develops psychic powers and meets the love of his life. Together they have a daughter with a power of her own and The Shop will stop at nothing to get them back.
MOVIESinMO REVIEW
Firestarter is a movie about a little girl that can burn anything or anyone just by looking at them. With a concept like that, how could you possibly screw it up? This movie was promoted heavily before it was released. So you would think it was on its way to being the next blockbuster behind Doctor Strange 2. It didn’t have any competition on release day, and the original was sub-par at best, so there was no real pressure to outperform its predecessor. But on Friday, May 13th, 2022, Firestarter did it. It wasted Paramounts money. This is not the blockbuster they were hoping for, as it was on the same level of bad-ness as the 1984 version. Storywise, it was worse. It’s a ninety-minute film that felt like three hours. This movie has so much backstory. No one cares about what the parents went through. No one cares about the agency that did this to them. But needless to say, they explain EVERYTHING. And when it’s all said and done, it was so boring that I now care less about what’s going on, and my feelings for the girl (Charlie) have diminished. The pace was slow, and the dialog was uninteresting. On the bright side, the young girl that was the focus of everything, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, was better than Brew Barrymore as far as emotional range goes. The special effects were better, but they still had the same level of cheesiness to them. That leads to my next question. Why is Firestarter rated R? The Motion Picture Association of America says it’s for violent content. Honestly, The Simpsons are more violent. Firestarter has to be one of the biggest disappointments so far this year
OUR RATING – A BARELY KINDLING 3